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6. How You Make Supporting Details More Specific? As a writer, you…
6. How You Make Supporting Details More Specific?
As a writer, you must be sure that your paragraph provides specific details to explain and to develop your topic sentence; you must also eliminate any unrelated sentences. Here is an example of a topic sentence and details that do not support it.
Avoiding Supporting Details That Are Too General or That Just Restate the Topic Sentence
Topic sentence: Running is gaining popularity among university students.
Include These Supporting Details Avoid These Details
Specific facts: More than 40% of university students listed running as a favourite activity. Statements that are too general: Running is fun for all ages.
Examples: I started running daily as a first-year student to decrease my stress level. Repetition of the topic sentence: Running is popular in universities these days.
Details: The campus intramural track team has jumped in membership this quarter from 40 to 100 students.
Directions: Read the following topic sentence. Then, select the body paragraph sentences that provide adequate support for the topic sentence. (Hint: Remember, adequate support includes specific facts, examples, and details, such as those shown in the table.)
Topic sentence: Plans to significantly expand Toronto’s subway system are continually being derailed.
Which of the following sentences support the topic sentence? Check all that apply.
Environmental groups point out that subways take too many resources to build, while light rail can serve more riders with the same amount of time and funds.
Developing new subway plans takes a long time, and elections can reset all the work completed, as new politicians mean new perspectives on transit.
Toronto’s transit system is already very expensive to ride.
Subway lines cost about three times as much as light rail, making some politicians avoid them.
Plans to expand Toronto subways have continually stalled in recent years.
7. What is Illustration?
A paragraph begins with an idea. That idea must then be developed or supported with details. Illustration is one method you can use to develop an idea. With the illustration method, you provide examples that make a general idea from your topic sentence clearer, more concrete, or more convincing.
Of the following two sentences, one is an example of a topic sentence for an illustration paragraph and the other is not.
Illustration topic sentence: Many university students value their campuses’ learning assistance services.
Explanation: This topic sentence has a topic (“university students”) and a controlling idea (“value their campuses’ learning assistance services”). It is a topic sentence for an illustration paragraph in particular because it is a general statement that may be obvious to the reader; it needs specific examples to be effective.
Not an illustration topic sentence: Elm City College students find that the one-on-one help offered by the campus Writing Lab helps them with all stages of the writing process.
Explanation: This is not a topic sentence, but it is a sentence that would follow the topic sentence because it gives a clear example of a specific learning service and specific students who value it.
Directions: Select the word or phrase from the dropdown menu that best completes each of the following statements.
Any topic sentence consists of___________(a topic, details, facts) and__________(compelling examples, a controlling idea, supporting evidence). For an illustration paragraph in particular, the topic sentence provides___________(a specific fact, a general statement, a persuasive argument) that is followed by___________(argumentative claims, more general statements, specific examples) in the body that__________(compare and contrast, explain, argue against )the topic sentence.
Directions: Consider the following four sentences. Determine whether each is a topic sentence or not, and, if so, whether it’s an appropriate topic sentence for an illustration paragraph.
1. Learning disabilities, in many cases, have not stopped people from achieving success.
This is:
A topic sentence, but not for an illustration paragraph
A topic sentence for an illustration paragraph
Not a topic sentence
2. Herlanzo Community College should provide more funding for students with attention deficit disorder (ADD) by diverting funds away from the football team.
This is:
A topic sentence, but not for an illustration paragraph
Not a topic sentence
A topic sentence for an illustration paragraph
3. Learning disabilities often run in the family.
This is:
Not a topic sentence
A topic sentence for an illustration paragraph
A topic sentence, but not for an illustration paragraph
4. Students learn in a variety of ways.
This is:
A topic sentence, but not for an illustration paragraph
Not a topic sentence
A topic sentence for an illustration paragraph
8. Where Does the Writer Find Examples?
In an illustration paragraph, examples serve to make the idea in the topic sentence clearer, more convincing, or more concrete. The examples that a writer chooses can come from various sources. The following chart describes four main sources for examples:
Topic sentence: Sports stars no longer seem to serve as role models for young people.
Source of Example Example Body Sentence
Personal experience and knowledge of the world As a parent, I have noticed that my children and their friends don’t collect sports cards to the degree of, or with the fervour of, generations past.
Imagination Imagine children were given the opportunity to either take a course with a sports star or one with a music star; isn’t it clear which the majority would choose?
Interviews and surveys I asked 150 teenagers who their idols were: 117 of them chose musicians, whereas only 33 chose athletes.
Outside research According to an April 2010 article in Science Daily, “Sports Stars Are No Role Models, Say UK Scientists,” a study has found that the drinking and partying habits of sports stars has little or no effect on these same habits among youthful fans.
Directions: Read the scenarios and then answer the questions that follow each.
1. The topic sentence for Marissa’s illustration paragraph is “Despite suffering from asthma, football star Jerome Bettis made numerous accomplishments in the world of sports.”
Which of the following would make the best body sentence for Marissa’s paragraph?
For example, I interviewed ten people who have been diagnosed with asthma; seven of them said they have played some kind of sport in the past month.
To illustrate, I often watched Bettis play on television and listened to his post-game interviews.
To be specific, according to his player profile on ESPN.com, Bettis played professional football for 13 seasons and scored a career total of 570 points.
Look at your answer to the previous question. What was most likely Marissa’s source for that example or illustration?
Outside research
Marissa’s personal experience
An interview or survey
2. The topic sentence for Sam’s illustration paragraph is “People have varying attitudes about the experience of purchasing a new car.”
Which of the following would make the best body sentence for Sam’s paragraph?
An illustration of this is the large number of people who travel by car, by train, or by airplane over Thanksgiving weekend.
To illustrate, of the 25 people I interviewed, 8 said they dread the experience of purchasing a new car, 11 said they really enjoy the experience, and the remaining 6 said they simply find the experience to be a hassle.
For example, last weekend my uncle allowed me to drive his sports car.
Look at your answer to the previous question. What was most likely Sam’s source for that example or illustration?
Sam’s personal experience
An interview
Outside research
9. Using Transitions to Achieve Coherence
The illustration paragraph begins with a generalized statement as the topic sentence; one or more specific and engaging examples follow that clearly relate to and support the generalization in the topic sentence. The simplest way to let your reader know that you are about to use an example is to say so: “For example, Gabriel García Ma´rquez was a great writer from Colombia.” Other transitional expressions for illustration (such as for example used in the previous sentence) include for instance, to illustrate, another example of, a case in point is, and so on.
As you read the following paragraph, try to identify transitional expressions for illustration. Click Illustration Topic Sentence or Body Sentence in the left-hand column to see an explanation of each sentence.
Example Paragraph
Illustration Topic Sentence: Many strategies can help students with learning disabilities accomplish their educational goals.
Body Sentence: For example, many students who have learning disabilities utilize the campus tutoring lab to get one-on-one assistance with their homework.
Body Sentence: Some students with learning disabilities register with the Office of Disability Services.
Body Sentence: By doing so, students can have a person take their notes so that they can better focus on the instructor.
Body Sentence: A final illustration of a strategy is simply beginning class projects early; this helps a student with learning disabilities complete a well-done assignment on time.
Directions: Select the word or phrase from the dropdown menu that best completes each of the following statements:
_________________(Transitional expressions, Revisions, Examples) are words and phrases that point out the exact relation between one idea and another, one sentence and another. For the illustration paragraph, in particular, transitional expressions_____________(introduce an example of, create a distraction from, provide a fact about) the general statement. Some examples of transitional expressions used in an illustration paragraph are_________(“currently”, “a case in point is”, “on the other hand”) and_______(“meanwhile.”, “another instance of.”, “on the one hand.”).
Directions: Each of the following general statements for an illustration paragraph is followed by several examples. First, select the example that does not clearly relate to the generalization. Then, select all transitional expressions in the examples.
1. The risk of memory loss can be decreased through a variety of enjoyable activities.
Another example of an enjoyable activity that may decrease memory loss is doing puzzles.
Researchers found that people who danced three or four times a week had less risk of developing severe memory loss than people who danced once a week.
Common symptoms of dementia, a significant loss of memory and mental function include losing a sense of time and place.
For instance, neurologists have found that exercising helps reduce the risk of memory loss.
Which of the following phrases used in the preceding sentences are transitional expressions for illustration? Check all that apply.
Another example of
For instance
Memory loss
Common symptoms
2. Many possible factors could contribute to autism.
Another factor that could be connected to autism is genetics.
Exposure to chemicals in plastics, called phthalates, may be connected to autism.
Jenny McCarthy has been a strong and vocal advocate for increasing research on autism.
Environmental toxins, such as air and water pollution and mercury in fish, have also been suspected of being contributing factors to autism.
Which of the following phrases used in the preceding sentences are transitional expressions for illustration? Check all that apply.
Environmental toxins
Contributing factor
Scientists
For example
10. Writing an Illustration Paragraph
An illustration paragraph begins with a generalized statement as the topic sentence; one or more specific and engaging examples follow that clearly relate to and support the generalization in the topic sentence.
Here is an example of an illustration paragraph. Click Topic Sentence or Body Sentence in the left-hand column to see an explanation of each sentence’s function within the paragraph.
Example Paragraph
Topic Sentence: Many strategies can help students with learning disabilities accomplish their educational goals.
Body Sentence: For example, many students who have learning disabilities utilize the campus tutoring lab to get one-on-one assistance with their homework.
Body Sentence: Some students with learning disabilities register with the Office of Disability Services.
Body Sentence: By doing so, students can have a person take their notes so that they can better focus on the instructor.
Body Sentence: A final illustration of a strategy is simply beginning class projects early; this helps a student with a learning disability complete a well-done assignment on time.
Directions: Read the illustration paragraph and answer the questions that follow.
(1) Many people with learning disabilities have had successful careers. (2) For example, Henry Winkler, who acted in Happy Days, became a well-known actor and later a children’s book author. (3) In Happy Days, a sitcom that ran on ABC from 1974 to 1984, Winkler played the wildly popular character called “The Fonz.” (4) In fact, Winkler’s struggle with dyslexia inspired his series of books about the character Hank Zipzer, a child who has a learning disability. (5) Another instance of a person who has overcome a learning disability is Darryl S. Duncan, the composer, songwriter, and founder and CEO of GameBeat Studios. (6) Duncan had a hard time convincing his music teachers that he was practising because he always had difficulty reading and writing musical notes. (7) However, Duncan persevered and became a staff songwriter at Warner Brothers and A&M Records. (8) Duncan also didn’t let his dyslexia keep him from founding GameBeat Studios, a successful original music, sound effects, and voiceovers service for the entertainment industry. (9) Both Winkler and Duncan show that learning disabilities don’t have to stand in the way of anyone’s successful career.
Sources: “Henry Winkler, Actor, Producer, Author.” The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity. Yale School of Medicine, 2016, dyslexia.yale.edu/Winkler.html. Accessed 10 Oct. 2016; Wade Talbert, Marcia. “Hitting a High Note: Accomplished Composer Overcomes Dyslexia.” Black Enterprise Black Enterprise Magazine, 1 July 2006, www.blackenterprise.com/mag/hitting-a-high-note. Accessed 10 Oct. 2016.
1. What is the topic sentence of this illustration paragraph? (Hint: A topic sentence for an illustration paragraph is a general statement.)
(9) Both Winkler and Duncan show that learning disabilities don’t have to stand in the way of anyone’s successful career.
(1) Many people with learning disabilities have had successful careers.
(7) However, Duncan persevered and became a staff songwriter at Warner Brothers and A&M Records.
2. Which of the following is also a suitable topic sentence for this paragraph? (Hint: Pick the general statement that clearly relates to the paragraph.)
Learning disorders increase some people’s creativity.
Learning disabilities, in many cases, haven’t prevented people from achieving standout careers.
Dyslexia prevents people from succeeding in life.
3. Which sentence does not clearly relate to and support the general topic sentence?
(3) In Happy Days, a sitcom that ran on ABC from 1974 to 1984, Winkler played the wildly popular character called “The Fonz.”
(5) Another instance of a person who has overcome a learning disability is Darryl S. Duncan, the composer, songwriter, and founder and CEO of GameBeat Studios.
(7) However, Duncan persevered and became a staff songwriter at Warner Brothers and A&M Records.
True or False: Warner Brothers was used as an example of the general statement (a successful person with a learning disability) in this paragraph.
True
False
What specific examples support the paragraph’s general statement? Check all that apply.
Darryl S. Duncan
The Fonz
A&M Records
Henry Winkler
11 . Parallel Structure
Use parallelism, or structures (words, phrases, and clauses) that have the same grammatical form, throughout your writing.
Parallelism
Examples:
On the weekends, we like watching movies, playing sports, and sleeping late.She is a loyal coworker, a devoted friend, and a great student.
Explanation: In the first sentence, watching, playing, and sleeping are parallel because they are the -ing forms of verbs. In the second sentence, a loyal coworker, a devoted friend, and a great student are parallel noun phrases because each begins with the article a and includes an adjective.
Directions: Read the sentences in the following table, and determine whether each sentence has parallel structure. Then, select the correct answer from the dropdown menu in the right-hand column.
Sentences Parallel Structure
1. New York City is the largest and busiest city in the United States. (Parallel structure, Not parallel structure)
2. Many visitors either hate New York or love New York. (Parallel structure, Not parallel structure)
3. I would rather visit a small city but not New York. (Parallel structure, Not parallel structure)
Read the following quotes from past leaders and then answer the question that follows.
Quote 1: An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. Benjamin Franklin
Quote 2: There are many things we do not want in this world. Let us not just mourn them; let us change them. Ferdinand Marcos
Quote 3: But above all, try something. Franklin D. Roosevelt
Which of the accompanying quotes is the best example of parallel structure?
Quote 3
Quote 1
Quote 2
Directions: The following advertisement does not use parallel structure. Read the advertisement, and then revise it for parallelism.
Everything in the store is on sale! Shop now for good deals, great prices, and to get service that is excellent!
Which of the following revisions uses parallel structure?
Everything in the store is on sale! Shop now for good deals, to find prices that are great, and to get excellent service!
Everything in the store is on sale! Shop now for good deals, to find prices that are great, and to get service that is excellent!
Everything in the store is on sale! Shop now for good deals, great prices, and excellent service!
Directions: Read Tim’s blog entry. Then, select the correct answers from the dropdown menus that will best complete Tim’s sentences using parallel structure.
January 20, 2016
I just came from my history class. I feel_________(inspiring, inspiration, inspired) and enlightened by the lecture we had today. My professor talked about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a powerful speaker and an important______(leadership, person leading, leader). Dr. King was a man who believed strongly in equality and________(who spoke, was speaking, spoke) about his American dream. I am not only planning on reading more about Dr. King, but I_________(Plan, will plan, am also planning) on writing more about him in my blog.
Hi, please help me to answer all these questions.
Thanks!
