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HighnessSheep3796
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                                                                                         Sample Descriptive Essay

Read the following essay. At the end of the essay, you will be asked to grade the essay. In order to grade this essay, you need to consider how successful the writer is in accomplishing the following elements: 

an essay employing a combination of sensory and factual details to illustrate a person or place that has influenced the writer in some fundamental way (purpose). 
an essay clearly demonstrating the writer’s effort to organize details effectively in order to illustrate an idea. (coherence)
an essay reflecting the writer’s efforts to incorporate effective sensory and factual details to make the essay interesting and lively. (completeness)
An essay relatively free of major grammatical and mechanical errors.  (coherence)
The essay should not be considered successful if it merely strings together descriptive details (purpose)

            My Grandfather lived in an old little house in a small rural town.  As you entered through the front door, you would be in the kitchen as soon as you put your foot in the door.  And on that kitchen floor was a peach and gray linoleum floor which had seen better days.  The kitchen was the one room that Grandpa spent a lot of his time in because he had no interest in television.  He would always be wearing his bib overalls with a song sleeved shirt underneath.  He would always have it buttoned up to his and along with all that his sleeves were never left undone.  The kitchen, a small cozy room in the winter months, had a great deal to do with the comforts that the old wood range provided.  It sat to the right of the entrance about halfway between the front and back walls.  This stove would keep the whole downstairs warm and besides that it was the main source for cooking.  Even though Grandpa was not a very good cook.  Also behind the stove on the wall hung a match box and on the floor was the wood box which contained enough wood for the night and also enough kindling to start the morning fire.

            To the left of the entrance in the corner behind the door, as you were opening it, stood an old oak cupboard with three glass doors.  Behind these doors were lots of beatiful things that were never handled only admired. 

            Working your way down from there was where a bowl of candy would always be sitting there.  That area was one area us kids would keep an eye on.  On the lower part were two drawers that pulled out; in there were always games that got regularly used.

            On the front wall in the corner to the left was a white refrigerator that was sort of small.  It looked out of place compared to other things in the room.  It was fairly new and modern.  It contained just enough food for himself and for company in which he greatly enjoyed.

            To the right of the refrigerator was double windows.  From them he got a splendid view of the downtown area.  An outdoor thermometer hung near the window and he would check it daily.  In front of the double windows was a old chrome table which was barely big enough. Five people could hardly sit around it without poking each other with their elbows.  The chars consisted of vinyl that was mended with some kind of tape.

            To the right of the table in the corner, a old hand built sink sits.  Over it are cupboards that Grandpa used them for storing stuff and in one corner it was supported by a stick.  A old white pail always sat there filled with fresh well water.  The water was cold in the summer and in the winter it was colder almost like ice water.

            The little old house where my Grandpa lived was pretty simple.  He didn’t have all the modern things that we have now but he didn’t miss them.  I never missed them much either whenever I would go to visit him.  I enjoyed the way my Grandpa lived life in his old little house.

Evaluate this essay:

Using the elements listed at the beginning of the essay, grade this essay. 

Remember to consider these points:

the essay includes a combination of sensory and factual details to illustrate a person or place that has influenced the writer in some fundamental way (those details suggest the essay’s purpose).     
the essay clearly demonstrates the writer’s effort to organize details effectively in order to illustrate and convey a focused idea.  (coherence)
the essay reflects the writer’s efforts to incorporate effective sensory and factual details to make the essay interesting and lively. (completeness)
the essay is relatively free of major grammatical and mechanical errors.  (coherence)
the essay should not be considered successful if it merely strings together descriptive details (purpose)

You should give the essay a grade of an “A,” “B,” “C,” “D,” or “F.” However, you must also support your grade by listing three supporting reasons for giving the essay that grade.

Grade:                       

Reasons:

1.

2.

3.