MasterHippopotamus3676
IS Incomplete sentence MIS Misspelled word or sound-alike and…
IS Incomplete sentence
MIS Misspelled word or sound-alike and look-alike error
VAR Needs sentence variety
UN Unclear sentence
TP Missing topic sentence
CUT Sentence does not belong in paragraph
TRAN Missing transition
LINK Paragraphs not linked
THESIS Heavy-handed or vague thesis statement
1- Directions: Following is an essay that requires revising and proofreading. First, read the entire essay. Second, identify each of the revisions needed for the bold word or words. Then, identify what type of revision is needed for each bold item by selecting the underlined space that precedes it and choosing from the list. (choose one of the correct answer from IS, MIS, VAR, UN, TP, CUT, TRAN, LINK, THESIS to fill the blanks below from a to j)
The Perils of Plastic
How safe is your plastic water bottle? (—-a—) Before you take another sip. You might want to consider that recent studies have shown that these water bottles can leach harmful chemicals into the water you drink. (—-b—) In this essay, I am going to prove to you that there are some things you can do to protect yourself.
First you must understand the risks. Many plastic water bottles are made of a compound called Bisphenol A (BPA). This compound was invented in 1891, but it was not used for plastic beverage containers until the 1940s. When the companies first started making these bottles, they did not know that this chemical was harmful to humans. Sadly, even if they knew, they were not required to inform the government because they are protected by the Uniform Trade Secrets Act. (—-c—) Studies now reveal that BPA acts like estrogen and can (–d—–) interupt the natural chemical makeup of your body. We now know that this can affect pregnant women and their unborn children. (—e—-) I’m concerned because I have a friend who is expecting a baby and I am very happy for her. Moreover, it can cause diseases like breast cancer, autism, and obesity.
(—-f—) First, look at the triangle marking on the bottom of the bottle. If it has a number “7,” then it contains BPA, so do not use it. Second, do not reuse plastic water bottles. Heating, washing, and squeezing bottles can release more chemicals. Third, use glass containers instead of plastic water bottles. Although less convenient because they can break, you will be better off in the long run.
(—-g—) Become more aware by researching this issue and writing to your government representative. There are several websites and magazine articles that you can read to stay informed on this topic. In fact, you will find that BPA is not the only harmful chemical that is leaching into our food, cosmetics, takeout containers, and food packages; (—h—-) their are many more as well. (—-i—) You should write letters to your representative. You should request that we need tighter regulations. You should add that we should follow the example of the European Union. It requires that chemical companies show that their products do not harm people or the environment, and we should, too.
(—-j—) Taking steps to protect yourself is only the beginning of something unknown. We should all try to stay informed and to share this information with others. Most of all, we should be a voice demanding that government take action to protect all of us and our future.
