BrigadierFoxMaster685
Peer Review: Major Project Revision Please read carefully…
Peer Review: Major Project Revision
Please read carefully and follow the assignment instructions and evaluation criteria when answering this assignment then look at all questions, especially numbers three, five, six, seven, eight, and question number four then you will find my peer review (the group member whose post came directly after my post) at the bottom of the assignment. and please focus on the post of THE ONE DRAFT THAT I DECIDED TO GIVE DETAILED FEEDBACK ON
FIRST ANSWER THE ONE DRAFT THAT I DECIDED TO GIVE DETAILED FEEDBACK ON THEN ANSWER MY OTHER CLASSMATE’s POSTS SEPARATELY STARTING FROM THE FIRST ONE TO THE THIRD ONE, RESPECTIVELY
For this assignment you’ll peer review ONE group member’s three major projects, offering suggestions, ideas, and possibilities for the Publication Process.
First, return to this week’s discussion: Rereading your Drafts. Find the group member whose post came directly after yours in that discussion. If you posted last, find the first poster.
Closely read through your classmate’s posts, taking note of their plans for revision and adaptation.
Read through each of their projects. Take the necessary time for this, allowing yourself to get a clear sense of their body of work this semester.
Choose ONE of their pieces to give detailed feedback on. Note whether they plan to revise or adapt this one piece, and give feedback accordingly.
What sort of feedback should you provide?
Consider some of these questions as you read:
Has the piece reached its full potential yet? What else could it possibly do?
Is the piece clearly working with the conventions of its genre? Is it missing some essential element of the genre?
Is the piece readable, interesting, and well-organized? If not, what could be done to improve it along these lines?
Is there enough evidence (examples, details, research) to support the author’s claims?
Is the writing polished and free of mechanical and grammatical errors? If not, indicate where work is needed.
5. Write your comments in paragraph form beginning with general comments about all four pieces and then focusing on the one draft that you decided to give detailed feedback on. Do your absolute best to be specific in your suggestions. Point out individual paragraphs and sentences. Go deep.
6. Next, respond to the following:
What aspects of your classmate’s research and writing do you find most compelling or interesting?
What aspects of your classmate’s issue do you still feel unclear about, or want to know more about?
7. Conclude with any ideas, possibilities, or suggestions you can add that might help your classmate plan their Final Project.
8. Your review should be multiple paragraphs so it is easy to follow and should be a minimum of 250 words.
EVALUATION CRITERIA
To receive full credit for your peer reviews, they must
Be submitted on time.
Be a minimum of 250 words.
Address each of the questions above thoroughly.
The group member whose post came directly after mine ( focus on this post)
The one draft that I decided to give detailed feedback on: I plan on revising my projects for grammatical, and spelling errors of course, but I have also learned that I was citing my sources partially wrong, so I would incorporate a separate works cited page, with the accurate citing of sources. I have also gotten a lot of feedback on my projects thus far from peers and will continue to work on my formatting as some of it seems confusing. Although I have gotten better at targeting a specific audience, I could keep an eye on this to keep my papers on track. Looking back to my first draft to my most recent one, I have noticed an improvement in my writing like staying on track with the topic as well as incorporating more detailed descriptions. I do believe that revising my writing and asking for feedback will keep me looking for and fixing mistakes within my writing.
In my memoir, there are a few things I believe that I could have done or added to make the information more engaging to the reader. I could have avoided this by targeting a specific audience allowing me to build upon that. However, in my persuasive effect project, I wasted time on the first page of the essay talking about the types of pollution rather than the detrimental effects humans have participated in on the pollution crisis. Providing statistics, I believe would provide the reader with enough evidence that supports the thesis. I think that regarding my grammar issues, I will continue to use a website I found named Grammarly to help me revise any mistakes. Another great touch to make my writing appear stronger would be to adjust my tone, to come off the same throughout the entire essay. I do feel like this makes my writing a bit confusing. Fixing all of these issues I mentioned above, will make my writing appear organized and informative while also engaging the reader.
First Other classmate’s post
Persuasion. As I look at my persuasion effect there are 2 things that I see that I feel need major changes. The first thing that I can tell could use a little bit of editing is simply clarity of speech. this project is in video form, so I do feel that I just need to speak maybe slower and clearer. I also think I could cite my sources verbally better. To be specific I cited ABC at the end of my video. I do feel that I could have just cited it a bit better.
Flash memoir- I feel out of all of my projects The memoir could use the most revisions. I think I have a few issues with my memoir. one of which is how I tell the story. I don’t think I teach enough through my story but rather explain my stance on the issue. So Moving forward into revisions I think I can just do better in telling more of a story. I also did find a few grammatical errors when I looked at it again. So, I would say that just diving deeper into my grammar could help.
Information Effect- this project has been very interesting for me because I cannot fully decide what medium I want to use. I have put this information effect project into a simple text format, and I have put it into an infographic. I have the Infographic posted above because that is what I feel most confident in. So, after looking back at that I really like what information I have. I think the only revision I am even considering is just changing the medium and obviously the changes that would come along with that. Such as changing or adding photos.
I honestly don’t think there are any other revisions I would like to add to anything else. I am pretty content with my other projects as is.
Second Other classmate’s post
My Memoir Effect: One thing I plan to do to better my memoir is to go through and change my wording to be more descriptive and flow better. I also want to rework the scene of the crash to better fit my overall theme of the project, focusing more on the distracted (I am assuming, I never actually saw the person) driver who hit us. I want to convey the emotions that I felt and how they affected me. This was my favorite assignment because I felt I had the perfect story to tell. I think that, if used correctly, could have a strong contribution to my final project.
My Profile Effect: Somehow every time I have posted this assignment, the formatting of the paragraphs has done something weird. I plan to fix that as well as look at ways that I could make the assignment look better overall. I would also like to fix the grammar and wording in the first paragraph because I don’t really like how it sounds after looking at it again. Who knows, I may just change the whole thing. I think I may find some new pictures as well. The stock photos that I chose from Word aren’t great and I was told by a peer that they did not really contribute to the overall piece.
My Persuasion Effect: My persuasive piece is a short podcast. I received some helpful feedback from the Student Writing Center on how I could better this piece. I plan to switch out some of the words to make the script more concise and clear. I also want to try and revise it in a way that I would be able to have some creative conversation as I record rather than just reading the script word for word. This is a topic that has affected me and I have strong feelings about it, so I think I would be able to talk about it for a while.
Third other classmate’s post
Overall, I feel that my memoir and profile have been well-revised, but there is always room for improvement. I do feel like I could do some revisions to my memoir, but it would primarily be for word count and I would hate to have to remove content from my story. With my profile, I believe that I could potentially add information, but I don’t quite know what else to include. My one thought was to include my experience with art as an educator, even though I have been minimally involved. However, I do recognize that my school’s art classes/programs are underfunded and also fairly unsupervised in the sense of student progress and needed materials. With my other assignments, I personally believe that my ‘deeper dive’ project is my best, and don’t have too many revision plans for it. On the other hand, I do plan on updating my information project. My primary focus is to make minor tweaks and adjustments to the infographic such as spelling, spacing, and placement. I also noticed that one of the images for my information project infographic is of lower quality, and I intend to fix that as well.
With my persuasion project, I absolutely plan on revising it as it is still in its rough stages. I’m very excited to draw a comic for this project, and I hope that I’ll be able to include some suggestions from my peers. I feel that a comic as a medium will help reach audiences in a fun way; while I hope to reach a vast audience, my intended audience with a comic is students. I hope that by presenting students with a medium I believe they’d enjoy, I hope to educate them early on about why their art education is important.
Please read carefully and follow the assignment instructions and evaluation criteria when answering this assignment then look at all questions, especially numbers three, five, six, seven, eight, and question number four then you will find my peer review (the group member whose post came directly after my post) at the bottom of the assignment. and please focus on the post of THE ONE DRAFT THAT I DECIDED TO GIVE DETAILED FEEDBACK ON
FIRST ANSWER THE ONE DRAFT THAT I DECIDED TO GIVE DETAILED FEEDBACK ON THEN ANSWER MY OTHER CLASSMATE’s POSTS SEPARATELY STARTING FROM THE FIRST ONE TO THE THIRD ONE, RESPECTIVELY
